Ridding Myself Of Excess

Do you know what I do when no one is home?  I reach the dark corners of a box and sink down until tears fall from my face and two fingers are forced into my throat while my stomach filled to the brim wastes away into liquid emptiness.  I do it until I cannot anymore.  Could anyone know that I am vacantly ridding myself of excess.  And who would think to stop and detect the glimpse of fading that reassigns itself to different parts of my day.  Who could vaguely realize that I, myself, am wasting away.  And that until my physical appearance alters to something that begins to worry, no one will notice.  How small do the numbers have to get before someone notices.  How much do you think I can get away with. 

I have purged 3 times in the last 4 days.  No one is ever home.  Tomorrow I will not eat.  No food will pass these lips.  Water is all I am allowed.  I must be strict with myself.  If I cannot do this, what am I worth?

I hope my boyfriend never gains knowledge of this disgusting secret.
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I love this song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q8s58mK-Cs
...and this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN5pOK6y42o

Life is a dream and ignorance is fueled by nightmares.

It gives me identity.  It gives me bones.  It gives me air.  What am I.

Ballet = Life

Things aren't going very well right now.  That's all I'll say.  I'm starting a liquid fast (10 days), kind of going by this: http://www.prettythin.com/apps/forums/topics/show/2569720-lets-fast-together-

I have a month to lose about 15 lbs.  Gonna work hard and reap the benefits at the end.  I need to look good for my dance recital in June, and be fit for the ballet summer intensive right afterward.  I've been going to the gym every chance I can get.  It's the Advanced Summer Ballet Intensive and it's going to be 4 weeks long, 5 days a week, 4 hours a day.  Plus I'll still have to work on the weekends.  I'm so excited for it but I'm going to have to work hard in the meantime until I get there.

For art class we have to do a concentration.  3 pieces that have a central theme to connect each of them to each other.  I chose to do my concentration on ballet.  I've also been watching, and re-watching, movies and documentaries on ballet and all types of dance.  Music and movement really do match perfectly together.   

My whole life is ballet and dance, and I love every minute of it.

CW: 113