(((This is how I am feeling about my ex-boyfriend that I haven't seen or talked to in over a year. We used to be really close. I'm about to see him in a couple of weeks for the first time. I really miss him and I'm uncontrollably still in love with him. It's a tragedy as of now.)))
How could I tell him. How could he know that what I was struggling with over a year ago. Those sick thoughts I began to think. Every step. Every whisper. Every secret I told only him and no one else. Still haunt me today. How could I tell him that I've finally figured it out. How can he know today that my sickness in translated by my body. How can he really understand that I am only a reflection of what I see. But that today my bones only relate me to the repetition of a common, disgusting disease. And to what I would starve for 1 year ago, is what I became today. Will he think I am a shadow of what I was. Or that I am nothing more than what I have become. Can I truly be the same in his eyes. Can I truly be who I am when he looks at me. If I became this way for a truth unknown, how can he love me. How could he really see who I am if I've lost what I was. Will he equate what's happened, and what is now, to how I have finally and ultimately figured it out. That over the year without him, I became a master and perfecter of denying myself pleasure and
necessity. I have denied myself food. I finally figured it out. And my body reflects what imperfection still remains.
necessity. I have denied myself food. I finally figured it out. And my body reflects what imperfection still remains.
How could I tell him...
